BEYOND FORGETTING

For a moment I thought I could forget you. For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart, I thought the past could no longer haunt me – nor hurt me. How wrong I was!
For the past, no matter how distant, is as much a part Of me as life itself. And you are part of that life. You are so much a part of me – of my dreams, my early hopes, my youth, and my ambitions – that in all my tasks I can’t help remembering you. Many
little delights and things remind me of you.
Yes, I came. And would my pride mock my real feelings?
Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face, be lost among the deepening shadows?
I have wanted to be alone.
I thought I could forget you in silence and in song. And yet I remembered. For who could forget the memory of the once lovely, the once beautiful, the once happy world such as ours?
I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung. I cannot sing it without you. The song when sung alone will lose essence of its tune, because you and I had been one.
I wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness.
Can’t you understand? Can’t you define the depth, and the tenderness of my feelings towards you? Yes, can’t you see how I suffer in this ever darkness without you?
You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference. But silence, my dear, is the language of the heart. How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone? But perhaps you didn’t understand.
Remember, I came, because the gnawing loneliness is there and will not be lost until the music is sung, until the poem is hear, until the silence is understood…until you come to me again.